For Therapists, Social Workers, and Helping Professionals
The Agreements We Parent From
A stalking practice for the inherited agreements driving your clients' hardest parenting moments.
Tuesday, June 9, 2026 · 5 PM Pacific · Live via Zoom · 90 minutes
For Therapists, Social Workers, and Helping Professionals
The Agreements We Parent From
A stalking practice for the inherited agreements driving your clients' hardest parenting moments.
Tuesday, June 9, 2026 · 5 PM Pacific · Live via Zoom · 90 minutes
You’ve reached for every tool graduate school gave you. Some of it helps. None of it is reaching the root.
Your clients are exhausted. Not just from the daily demands of parenting, but from the specific, disorienting exhaustion of trying to parent well in a world their own parents never had to navigate.
Political instability. Climate anxiety. Social media and everything it does to children and to parents. AI rewriting what school, work, and the future even look like, faster than any of us can explain to our kids — or to ourselves. The cost of simply keeping a household together. None of this was in the parenting model most of us inherited.
And the model itself, the agreements we absorbed about what a good parent looks like, what children are supposed to do, how families are supposed to function, wasn’t built for any of this either.
This 90-minute workshop gives you a concrete, repeatable inquiry tool rooted in Toltec wisdom that helps parents identify the inherited agreements driving their guilt, reactivity, and exhaustion, and begin to work with them in a way that reduces shame and opens space for something different.
You’ll work through the practice yourself first. Then you’ll leave knowing how to bring it to your clients.
Nothing They're Trying Is Working
Parents know what they want to do differently. They've read the parenting books, listened to the podcasts, maybe done years of their own therapy. And they still find themselves repeating patterns they swore they'd break — snapping at their kids, shutting down in conflict, parenting from fear and punishment instead of curiosity and connection.
What's underneath that isn't a skill gap. It's an agreements gap.
The way we were raised handed us a set of agreements about what parents do, what children need, what love looks like under pressure. Most of us absorbed those agreements before we had any language for them. And most of us, especially those of us raised as women or in families carrying intergenerational trauma, were domesticated into putting everyone else first, at our own expense. That's not a personal failing. It's a pattern. And patterns can be worked with.
The gap your clients are living in: they know the parenting their parents modeled isn't what they want to replicate. They don't yet have something solid to replace it with. This workshop starts to close that gap — for them, and for you.
"Sarina is a magical facilitator; they somehow see whatever is needed and ensure everyone feels a personal invitation to step in. The space they create is the feeling sense I hope for in all spaces I'm part of."
Emma Sharkey
What Grad School Didn’t Prepare You For
Graduate training gave you the foundation for digging into the psyche and emotions. What it didn't prepare you for is the onslaught of dysregulation and dysfunction that comes from years of pandemic, political instability, oppression, civil unrest, war, and climate crisis hitting all at once and compounding on each other — and the parents sitting across from you who are living inside all of it.
You keep hitting the same wall: nothing is sticking, and it keeps coming back to generational patterns. Inherited agreements that traditional modalities can identify but struggle to reach at the root.
That's the gap Toltec teachings fill, in a way that is concrete, clinically compatible, and immediately deployable alongside the work you're already doing. This workshop introduces one of those tools: agreements stalking.
What This Workshop Covers
In 90 minutes, you'll move through a structured experience that works on two levels — your own inner landscape as a parent or someone who was parented, and your clinical toolkit as a helping professional.
Sarina will open with a brief introduction to the Toltec art of stalking, a specific self-awareness tool for perceiving our own patterns from the witness self rather than from inside them. You'll learn the three types of stalking, each with its own quality and application, and see how they map onto parenting agreements specifically. Then you'll work through a live stalking exercise on your own inherited agreements. There will be time for questions, and you'll leave with a homework assignment for continued inquiry.
This isn't a lecture. It's a guided practice session and the practice is what makes the tool yours.
The Agreements Your Clients Are Already Carrying
Before you can help a client work with an inherited parenting agreement, you have to be able to recognize one. These are the ones that come up most often:
I need to have everything figured out and never ask for help
My parents didn't parent me well, so I'm already broken as a parent
Parenting from punishment is the only way — or its opposite: I can't set limits with my children or they'll think I don't love them
Everyone else is a better parent than me
I've already damaged my kids
If you work with parents, you've heard versions of all of these. This workshop shows you how to help a client see where those agreements came from and begin to loosen their grip.
"I left feeling renewed and having a sense of clarity, confidence, and connection, not only to myself but also to a supportive community. The breakthroughs I experienced continue to ripple into my daily life, shaping how I show up with more courage and authenticity. This wasn’t just a program I attended; it was a transformative journey I will carry with me forever."
Valerie M.
You'll leave this workshop able to:
Understand how inherited parenting agreements form and why they're so resistant to change — even in clients who already have significant self-awareness
Facilitate a structured stalking inquiry with parents that moves them from self-criticism to honest self-observation
See how one Toltec teaching maps onto the clinical work you're already doing, and why it fills gaps that other modalities leave open
Help clients see reactivity and guilt not as character flaws but as inherited agreements running on autopilot — a reframe that reduces shame and opens space for change
Recognize the difference between a client's story about their parenting and the underlying agreement driving it — and know which one to work with first
Who This Is For
This workshop is designed for therapists, licensed mental health professionals, coaches, social workers, case managers, and teachers who work with parents or with children, and who are looking for tools that reach the root of parenting struggle, not just the surface behaviors.
It’s also for you if you are a parent yourself, or if you were parented in a way you’ve spent years trying to understand and move beyond.
No prior exposure to Toltec teachings is required. This is a genuinely beginner-friendly introduction to one specific tool.
This workshop is not for you if:
- You’re looking for a passive learning experience. This is participatory. There will be an experiential exercise and you’ll be asked to engage with your own material.
- You're not open to looking outside your existing framework. This practice works best for people willing to think differently about what their clients, and they themselves, are carrying.
- You exclusively work with clients whose very basic needs are at-risk and they are in active crisis. (Not that you can’t learn something, but your clients may not benefit as much due to their immediate threat risk.)
About Sarina Harz-Tolbert, LCSW
Sarina Harz-Tolbert, LCSW, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, certified wilderness rites of passage guide, and 10-year apprentice of bestselling author HeatherAsh Amara. With a decade of experience in trauma-informed care and somatic healing, Sarina works with clients navigating overwhelm, political grief, and the particular exhaustion of trying to parent well in a world that keeps shifting under everyone's feet.
She has long integrated Toltec teachings into her own clinical practice, finding in them a practical framework that reaches the places traditional training doesn't, and that meets the specific challenges clients are bringing into offices right now.
She now supports other therapists and helping professionals in expanding their own toolkits with these same teachings, so they can offer their clients something beyond what grad school prepared them for. She teaches from the inside out: every practice she brings to a workshop, she has lived and worked with herself.
"Sarina is a truly gifted intuitive teacher and has beautiful magic which she freely shares. The ceremonies Sarina led were transformative on many levels as well as opened my eyes to being guided in creating ritual. The teachings, tools, and exercises were right on point with what I was navigating. I left equipped with new tools I can also use in my day-to-day life."
Renee R.
Ready to Give Your Clients Something That Actually Sticks?
Join us for 90 minutes that will change how you work with every parent client you have.
Tuesday, June 9, 2025 · 5:00 pm Pacific · 90 minutes · Live via Zoom
- 90-minute live session with Sarina Harz-Tolbert, LCSW
- The agreements stalking practice — experienced firsthand, then mapped for clinical use
- A framework for introducing this inquiry with parents in your own practice, including how to identify the specific agreement driving a client's struggle, work with it without triggering shame, and integrate the practice alongside ACT, IFS, narrative therapy, and somatic approaches
- Q&A with Sarina
- The Three Types of Toltec Stalking — eagle, jaguar, and spider, explained and mapped for clinical use
- How We Form Agreements — the mechanics behind inherited parenting beliefs
- Stalking Agreements from Discernment vs. Judgment — how to tell the difference and why it matters for your clients
- Early registration opportunity for the full 3-week Toltec Parenting course at a discounted rate (details shared at the end of the workshop)
- 90-minute live session with Sarina Harz-Tolbert, LCSW
- The agreements stalking practice — experienced firsthand, then mapped for clinical use
- A framework for introducing this inquiry with parents in your own practice, including how to identify the specific agreement driving a client's struggle, work with it without triggering shame, and integrate the practice alongside ACT, IFS, narrative therapy, and somatic approaches
- Q&A with Sarina
- The Three Types of Toltec Stalking — eagle, jaguar, and spider, explained and mapped for clinical use
- How We Form Agreements — the mechanics behind inherited parenting beliefs
- Stalking Agreements from Discernment vs. Judgment — how to tell the difference and why it matters for your clients
- Early registration opportunity for the full 3-week Toltec Parenting course at a discounted rate (details shared at the end of the workshop)
- Full recording of the live workshop, delivered via email link within 24 hours
- A curated list of questions to ask clients about their parenting agreements
- A permission slip template for creating permission slips with clients around new agreements
Frequently Asked Questions
No prior knowledge is needed. Sarina introduces stalking as a specific self-awareness tool drawn from ancient Toltec wisdom — one that works with perception and self-observation rather than requiring any particular belief system. She'll walk you through the three types and give real-life examples before moving into the practice itself. If you're curious about where it came from and why it works, that context will be part of the teaching.
This is an experiential session. Sarina will guide you through the stalking practice, which means you’ll be working with your own material, not just observing. The practice is designed to be self-paced and non-pressuring, but engagement is what makes it useful. Come ready to show up, not just watch.
Both. You’ll work through the practice yourself first, which means you’ll understand it from the inside. Sarina will then walk through how to bring this inquiry to parents in a clinical or coaching context. The recording + guide upgrade includes a workbook specifically designed to support that application.
The live session is where the experiential work happens, so we recommend attending if at all possible. If you know you won’t be able to make it, the recording + supplemental guide ($67) is designed to give you what you need from the session on your own time.
This workshop does not offer CEUs. If CEU credit is important to you, stay tuned, we are exploring CEU-eligible programming for future offerings.
Your Clients Need You To Have This Tool.
The parents in your practice aren't failing. They're parenting from agreements that were never designed for this moment — and most of them don't know that yet. When you can name that clearly, and offer them a way to work with it, something shifts.
What opens up when a client stops seeing their reactivity as a character flaw and starts seeing it as an inherited agreement running on autopilot — that's what this practice makes possible.
Come find out what it feels like from the inside.