Vulnerability post: This is me on my way to New York last week, feeling the exhaustion from a middle of the night radio show, little sleep, and years of crafting, writing, and birthing many books, and especially this latest baby, The Warrior Heart Practice. When I sat down at my seat I closed my eyes and cried, feeling the energy of all the years, all the work, and the immense joy and gratitude at how things are unfolding.
For those of you who are new to me or to this newsletter, hi! I share writings twice a month on the New Moon and the Full Moon. (This newsletter is a wee bit late due to being on tour for my new book.) I do my best to share helpful tools, thoughts, and experiences that I hope will inspire you, make you curious or even stir you up. I believe we are here to gently comfort each other and lovingly disturb each other in equal measure to grow and question and open to greater possibilities.
Today’s writing was taken from a recent Instagram post I wrote last week. If you want to know what I’m up to day to day, IG is the best place to follow me. I’m constantly traveling and creating, so it’s never boring, that is for sure! Instagram: heatherashamara
Right now I’m watching myself really struggle to ask and receive help. While I do it: ask for you to buy the book, ask for you to review the book, ask for you to share with your friends, it is still difficult. I’d much rather just give and give and give. Someone offered to help me at my recent New York launch party and I almost said no, I can do it. And I had to stop and ask myself, “sweetheart, what are you doing? Why are you not accepting help?” And as I sat with the feelings and then explored the story I could see an old belief has crept in again. I have to be independent. I have to do it all myself. I have to keep busy and work and be of service. I shouldn’t need help.
Which is of course, impossible. There are beings helping me All. The. Time. I’m part of a huge interconnected web of people and animals and plants and rocks and bacteria and so many other elements that create the illusion of a separate “me.” None of us are independent, not even for a second.
It’s so interesting to be tracking this, because I have learned to rest, and to ask for help, and to take time for myself, and to pace myself. And I’m in the middle of the biggest book launch I’ve ever done and I suddenly don’t want to inconvenience anyone. I can take care of it. I feel somewhat like a mother who just gave birth and now is telling everyone that she’ll clean up the kitchen, that they should go ahead and head home, it’s all fine.
So I want to share the behind the scenes vulnerability and fears. I am so so grateful for for my over-the-top wonderful team and friends and community who lift me up and give me wings. Thank you, from the depths of my heart. And know that while I’m ecstatic to share the new book, I’m also feeling tender and having to remind myself to trust and let go and let others help.
So my invitation to you today is: where are you not asking for help? Where are you slip sliding into an old pattern without realizing it? Where do you need to take action, and where do you need to rest?
Know that you are loved and seen.
To all of you: Thanks for your light and your love. Thanks for helping me to midwife this new book into the world. I feel like my other children, the Warrior Goddess Training, Way, and Wisdom sisters now have a new Warrior Heart baby who is already shining so bright in the world.