January 24th, 2020

How to Get Clear When You are Not: The Post-Partum Part

A few days ago I received an email from my book agent, AnneMarie. She wrote “How are you doing? Do you have post-partum depression? Call me!”

Ohhhhhhh I said to myself. Of course.

After we birth anything, whether it is a baby or a book or a project or another aspect of ourselves, there can be a time of what I call sacred slump. Our being is integrating all the changes of a massive shift, and often things are out of wack for a bit. But that chaos post birthing is an important time of adjustment, reflection, and redirection.

I’ve been working on my new book The Warrior Heart Practice for six years, dreaming of when the book would finally be in the world. And now it is. And I’m feeling a wee bit lost.

At first I was concerned: what is wrong with me? Why can’t I focus? Why can’t I figure out what is next?

The sacred slump was at work.

In the cycles of the moon and the sun, which directly relate to and affect us, there is a time of light and a time of darkness, a time of expansion and a time of introspection. For example, just before the new moon, which is a time of new beginnings and birthing new ideas, there is a time of dark in between, of emptying everything out and waiting.

If we try to bypass this sacred slump time, or if we don’t understand what is happening, it can feel scary, awkward, and depressing.

But when we say hey, darkness my old friend and turn towards the not knowing, the in between, the dissolving, we can be patient and listen to what we need during this time of transition.

The creation and birthing of something is active and exciting. And just as important as the action is the rest, renewal, and deep rewiring that can happen during the post-birthing phase.

I’m in that in between right now, and it is a little strange because I am at a glorious beach resort, and what I’m mostly doing is sleeping and taking long walks and catching up on email. When I told a friend I was going to the beach he sent me a gif of a woman running happily on the beach in her bikini; I sent him back an image of a kid buried completely in sand with her tiny head sticking up saying, “more sand.” That is me right now: bury me in sand for a bit and I’ll be okay.

So whether you are expanding like fireworks or pulling in like a puppy curled up to go to sleep, honor where you are in the cycle. Make sure you are not getting stuck or too comfortable in any phase of the birthing-creation-releasing-darkness circle. Keep asking yourself: What do I need now? What would serve me best? Be honest about what part of the cycle you are in, and adjust your thinking and expectations accordingly.

Sending you much love and bright sunshine or nourishing darkness, whichever you need!