As I write this it is May Day (aka Beltane), which HeatherAsh Amara described in an email as ”a day to celebrate fruit and flowers and the birds and the bees–sensuality, sexuality, creativity, and all things fiery.” It is time. A few days ago, Rebelle Society contributor Lina Boldt wrote how our stories can get stuck in us and hold us back. How sharing our stories can help set us free. I have always thought of myself as sharing my stories openly, but when I read her piece, I was surprisingly affected. I have so many stories stuck inside- stories that could help inspire and engage; stories that can help free me. Lina wrote that some women don’t see value in their personal story or feel they are not good enough; but I’m fairly sure I have some darn good ones. I love sharing my stories casually, throwing out bits and pieces to grab people’s attention.
It is time. Yesterday I took out my Tarot Cards which I only use 2-3 times per year. When I do take them out, I lay them on my bed and swirl them around while thinking of a general question in my heart, or I ask for guidance on my current path. Yesterday I pulled the Queen of Wands. The cards I use, The Enchanted Tarot, are beautiful and the accompanying book is inspiring and generally positive–just the way I like them. The Queen of Wands description is that of a confident, fiery and creative Goddess, all qualities I have been working on. I also looked back at my last reading, when I apparently pulled the same card in answer to the same question- that must mean something right? Perhaps I will look up some other descriptions of her card, but perhaps not since I am so joyful about this one. The significant thing for me is that I have always wanted to share my stories in writing and I feel that the Queen of Wands card supports me to do so. The fact that she came up twice as an answer to the same question six months apart, speaks to the fact that I have not taken much action on this goal. So, when I read her yesterday, I decided to say YES to writing. It is time.
It is time. I’ve started writing them down many times–but I never seem to follow through. I can explain away my procrastination with very good reasons, but the truth is my stories weren’t ripe. The rich colors of the story made it appear ripe, the unripe parts must have left a bitter taste.
It is time. When I was reading Warrior Goddess Way and saw the words of my own story on the pages of my teacher’s book, I realized how much pain I still have stuck in many of my stories. Yes, I forgave my ex-husband and have lived the story of the Brave, Bold & Tenacious heroine–this is part of my story for sure. But I took that story on as a reaction, as part of my survival. I never allowed myself to feel the pain of the Betrayed, Broken and Tender young mother. My Warrior-self refused to allow me to be a victim and proceeded to take life head on, but by not allowing my Goddess-self to express her pain, I denied her voice.
It is time. To be authentic, I must live the Warrior Goddess Creed and honor all parts of my story. So on this May Day night, I will light a candle and pledge to commit to myself with compassion and humor, unwind old agreements and beliefs that no longer serve me, find my authentic expression, and walk with joy on my path of transformation, even when it is challenging. This is why I am submitting my very first blog post–to say yes to me–ALL of me–and to say yes to telling my story and set myself free.