Truth Stands

By:Leahanne Woods Smith

Just as simply and beautifully as these mountains stand, I am.

That’s why there is no reason to hide my truth.  But often I’ve found myself not telling the whole story here, or neglecting my own needs to go with the flow of the norm throughout my life.

Oftentimes, we feel we will be fired, or get in trouble, or get someone else in trouble, hurt someone’s feelings, or we think it would just be too confusing to others and not worth telling. We often grow up thinking that there’s something wrong with us and until we get it fixed, we will hide.  Some even die trying to be accepted, trying to live up to ridiculous expectations that are not right for us, and are not meant for us.

But, the truth is to tell our bare natural truth is what is so needed.  It is needed to liberate us and others, and needed to stand us onto the world just as these mountains stand, naked and free.

Each of us are so unique and important to the world, so it’s necessary to show our deepest truths so that we stand as our deeply needed messages to the world.  We cannot begin to imagine how others will perceive our truth.  There may be hidden symbols that can be seen and understood through us that help unlock mysteries.

At the same time we are not any more important than anyone or anything else.  So, in that respect, we may as well tell our truth.  What are we waiting for?  What are we hiding?  Our Self from our Self?  The world from the world?  We can release our control that we think we have by holding back our truth.  In return we will gain the energy, the extra aliveness, and awareness that we need to fashion our lives to reveal truth in the creative ways that come to us.  This is our our unique expression in the world.  This is the nutrition needed for ourselves to truly live, and grow, and help the world.

May we grow ourselves out with truth budding the way.
May we accept our truth when we erode and change form. 
May we release into our next way of life. 
Let us not hold back, hide, or disguise. 
Let us be free here and now. 
Let us understand. 
Let us live. 
Let us see. 
​Let us stand free.

Transforming Love Through Mirrors

Today, I am being called to discuss a few things with you. First, there is this inner battle within ourselves to judge ourselves and others. I am not judging, shaming, or guilting myself or others for this learned behavior. However, as you transform and awaken yourself into becoming a better human/soul or person; please take the time to read this, even if it is a little uncomfortable.

As you battle your light and dark and try to learn more about Ascension, Feminine and Masculine Divine Energy, Transformation and Alchemy of Love; you will face repetitive patterns, behaviors, feelings, obstacles, and situations until you address and clear them at the deepest level of your self and soul.
We are all mirrors of each other! Have you heard that before? Do you know what that means? Are you judging someone else today? Are you self-imposing your beliefs or expectations on others? Are you jealous and competing with another? Are you able to respect your choice and others for their own choices?

On the Goddess, Transformational, Ascension, Empowerment, and Alchemy of Love and life path we need to recognize that our relationships are MIRRORS. They are powerful reflective mirrors that are reflecting back to us what we need to learn about ourselves. The inner aspects of relationships, behaviors, beliefs, personas, and more are all our own shit to clean up! The MIRROR can be inspiring, I love this amazing strong, powerful, well spoken, beautiful leader. I wish I could be like her, YOU ARE HER! She is reflecting all the things you admire within YOU back to you; that is YOU! When someone gossips, competes, or frustrates you – Find out WHY? What persona or trait are they doing that is actually reflecting something in you that you need to work on yourself? Everyone is a powerful mirror both things that you think are good or you consider bad; all of it is a MIRROR of YOU!

As we get more spiritual or conscious more stuff will rise, more will come up, more patterns, people, situations, that you have not cleaned up deep inside will keep coming back for you to address. You might as well address it now; because it will keep coming back. Those repetitive patterns, old beliefs, old stories, old issues and situations must be addressed at a deeper level of sub-consciousness.

We need to look at all relationships, situations, and patterns as accurate mirrors reflecting what we need to reveal in our own inner process and inner work. These are the things that are difficult for us to learn and face; we repress, push down, or ignore and hope that somehow we will get a different outcome if we just ignore the underlying issues. In fact, at times we get so comfortable in our discomfort that we don’t even realize that our chaos has become our norm.

There are symbols and messages everywhere. The reflection from the mirror can be with every relationship at work, co-worker, boss, neighbors, children, significant others, partners, friends, and family members. Each person reflects important messages and knowledge for us to understand what the mirror is reflecting. If you have a feeling emotional, physical, or mental response that is either positive or negative about someone else or a situation it may be because your MIRROR is telling you to see deeper what is being reflected within you! Pay attention to these signals and find out what the message is for you deep inside your conscious/sub-conscious.

Look around at your own relationships, who are you drawn to, and what aspects are they reflecting back to you?

Who do you admire, love, look up to, and why?

Who are you challenged with and what are they reflecting back to you?

Each person and situation reflect to us where we are in our own process and what defenses we need to dissolve at the time. Keep in mind as you progress through this process different things and people will reflect back to you as you progress through your own things as well. Today, they may be reflecting exactly what you need to address in yourself right now. Be patient, listen, and be aware when you should feel deep inside to what the message is reflecting to you.

What are you reflecting today? What messages will you be telling yourself today?
I choose to reflect Love! I hope you receive the love today I am sending to you 

​Blessings 

Gratitude: The energy igniter. Burn, baby, burn!

By: HeatherAsh Amara

What one thing are you grateful for right now?

The next time you find yourself in a situation full of stress, overwhelm, or suffering, take a moment to get still and ask yourself this simple question: “What one thing am I grateful for right now?” When you find that one thing, repeat it over and over in your mind. Stay present and notice if your internal energy begins to shift from suffering to surrender, even if it is only a very slight change. Allowing yourself to notice even the smallest shift acts as signal that it is okay to relax further. This is the first step toward releasing your suffering by placing your conscious attention on gratitude.

Please understand, I know firsthand that life can be challenging. Loved ones die. Finances collapse. Health issues arise. Relationships end. It’s in these moments when we must be incredibly courageous to choose to focus on gratitude rather than on the negativity we may be experiencing. Be gentle with yourself and remember that it’s possible to be grateful and experience sadness simultaneously; that’s the complexity and beauty of being human.

In moments of overwhelm, it may be difficult to find things to be grateful for. But by reconnecting each moment to your true work, you create space between you and the turbulent emotions of the present moment so that you can take action from a place of conscious gratitude rather than reacting in ways that ultimately will not serve you and only make you feel crummy to boot. ~ From Awaken Your Inner Fire, Lesson 7

Your gratitude for life, with all of its ups and downs, is one of the best ways to ignite your inner fire and keep it sparkly. In each moment you have the choice to perceive what is happening through the lens of frustration, judgment, or victimization or through the lens of gratitude. Why should you be grateful for the hard times, the frustrations, and the upsets? Because gratitude will help you find your way to the other side in a creative, wise manner. And it feels better.

Judgment and victimization dampen our inner fire with stories of “it’s not fair” or “they are bad, wrong, awful, impossible!” I’m not asking you to ignore reality and pretend everything is fine. I’m inviting you to look for what you can be grateful for in each moment so you can make better, more efficient, clearer choices from your heart.

 
How do you become a gratitude fireball of love? Here are some suggestions:

• Say “you are a worthy obstacle” when difficult situations arise. Then wink at the obstacle and be grateful that the game is on to find your way through!

• Separate out your stories or thoughts from this moment – can you practice just being with what is happening without your mind’s opinion or judgment about it?

• Be grateful that you are learning tools to stop dampening or leaking your inner fire, even when you find yourself falling into old patterns.

• Each morning name five things you are grateful for. Keep saying thank you for these things throughout your day.

Gratitude is something you can learn to embody, and it is the antidote for a lot of bad mental habits. Negativity and disaster mind drain your energy; naming what you are grateful for turns your attention towards what is right and enlivens you.

Make gratitude your new habit and you’ll start seeing more and more things to be grateful for. The air you breath. Gratitude. The water coming from the tap. Gratitude. The way your dog looks at you in the morning. Gratitude. The way your elbow bends as you open the door. Gratitude. The color of the door handle shining in the sun. Gratitude. So many things to be grateful for!

The Carcass In The Web

By: Leahanne Woods Smith

All the years of not using my voice I’ve been caught in a web.

The web was of all the things I accepted as truth that were just part of the noise of fear.  The web was made of the social construct I was born into.  Those who I trusted told me the web was real.  The web was made of those perceived limitations that I held like cement within.  The web was made of obstacles that I had taken on as permanent holding walls.  The web was things I unknowingly kept as secrets.  I watched others thrive.  As a school girl, I sat still accepting my death comfortably.  I knew I couldn’t act because I knew I couldn’t speak.  I was a trapped animal within.

But, I understand why I got comfortable sitting still.  There is so much to benefit.  You get to take in a lot of life through watching others.  Through allowing yourself to sink in and be still, you understand and feel a lot beyond what is said to be necessary for living as a human child in society.  You become a beacon of compassion.  But, you also become a confused bucket of fear when it comes to action.  I got so nervous that it would cause me to be sick when I knew I would have to play baseball in physical education class.

For the first half of my life I have been paralyzed by fear.  I’ve stepped out to do certain things.  But, anything that would take a lot of communication with others I’ve mostly avoided.  I didn’t know for a long time that much my avoidance of life was due to the voices in my head, which repeated in their own unique way.  The voices told me that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t like other people, and that I wasn’t capable.  I did the world a favor and stayed hidden and quiet.  I lived apologetic for my being.  As I grew older, into teenage years, people’s words and actions continually hurt me.  I was a mere dehydrating moth floating into death in the webs of others.  No one saw me.  I was glad.  It was more comfortable to be alone if I had to be that vulnerable and die that way.

There were times in my younger years that I was so dried out and hopeless.  I remember realizing that I had no personality of my own.  I just reacted in the ways I saw that was considered to be normal or polite when people spoke to me. I was so afraid of my own voice, so afraid that it would cause me to be rejected.  I’d much rather that they just stay guessing at who I was.  And, I’d rather have quick moments interacting with people, and then be left alone instead of trying to have meaningful conversations.  It’s no fun to keep talking when you’re pretending to be OK.

That was then.  This is now.

Now I practice sharing my voice with whomever is around me.  I’ve shared my voice enough now that the right people wind up around me to hear the messages that come from me, from deep in my soul, from spirit.

I dare myself to dig deeper, to find more and share it openly.  It has become a fun game to play.  Life has opened up to me wider each time I break an old agreement of unworthiness and share my truth.

I’ve found that others were going through the same things that I have been through.  Both the good and the bad are beautiful now.  There’s no need to hide and feel ashamed of truth.  It helps others and myself whenever I dare and share.  It opens doors into life we never knew was there.  Life feels limitless and loving now that I love myself and all of life unconditionally.

Over the continuing markers of my true voice appearing to me, I am realizing that I am no longer a dead carcass hanging in a web.

A breeze came.  After I let go of the life I thought was mine: my sufferings, my shyness, my need to hide, my vow to stay silent and hidden, the breeze took me away.  My carcass remained as a marker of where I had been.

I was taken away by death.  I floated into life again.  Within the same body, in the same lifetime, I am new.  I am full.  I am well and able.  I am my true work which is love/light.

Instead of waiting for others to ask me a question before I speak, I now share my stories, my experiences, and spirit that moves through me.  I love my life.  I love my being.

My grandmother used to tell me, “Leahanne, you have just as much right to be here as anybody else”.  She used to worry about me being so shy.  I get it now.  I thought I got it years ago, but I didn’t, not the full message.  I got the message now, much fuller, in my own unique way, in my own sweet time.  I got it the only way I could- through befriending, and freeing, my voice.

Freeing your inner fire to burn brightly. No matter what.

How to use everything (yes, everything!) in your life as your teacher and guide
By: HeatherAsh Amara

​Your inner fire is the vital energy within you, the unseen force that gives life to your being. When you take a moment to stop, get quiet, and feel deep within yourself, on a level deeper than thought, you will find this energy waiting and powering you through every moment in your life.

One thing has become clear to me as I have studied my own inner energy over the past several years. I have found that our thoughts, feelings, and actions can all affect our inner energy, and other people’s energy can also have an influence. It can be very difficult for us to keep our inner fire alight with so much pressure. One simple litmus test to see if what you’re pursuing is helping or hindering your inner fire is to evaluate how you feel when you’re in the process of doing something, thinking, or on the receiving end of any particular action. What you will find is that when you are doing things that resonate with your inner energy, the result will be that you feel good. When you neglect you inner fire energy, or otherwise do something that doesn’t resonate with it, you feel, well . . . not so good.

Some of the biggest drains on our energy are stress, fear, anxiety, and getting overwhelmed, as well as the underlying “not enough” monster. Conversely, through the experience of joy, faith, peace, love, passion, and, most importantly, the realization that you are enough, you raise your inner energy.
~ ~ From my upcoming book Awaken Your Inner Fire, Lesson 2  

So how do we shed the stress, soothe the anxiety, and silence the “you are never going to be enough” voice?

• Do more of what you love to brighten your inner fire
• Face your obstacle courageously to steady your inner fire
• Dissolve the beliefs, actions, and thoughts that dampen your inner fire
• Rest into stillness to hear the wisdom of your inner fire

But first, you must befriend your inner fire. Get to know the vital flame that fuels your life. Pay attention to what dampens your inner fire and explore what ignites your inner fire.

Keep your focus on your internal world: saying “your behavior is dampening my inner fire” makes you a victim of other people’s actions, which you actually have no control over. But you do have control over your inner reactions and choices. When your inner fire is well-tended and burning brightly you’ll be less affected by other people’s emotions, behaviors, and reactions. You may not like how other people are acting, but from your centered connection to your inner fire you’ll be able to make clear, conscious choices that nourish you, and ultimately everyone around you. In fact, you’ll learn how to see everything, (yes, everything!) in your life as your teacher and your guide.

In the coming days I’ll be sharing chapter by chapter excerpts and teachings from the new book and insights on how to awaken your inner fire. Let’s get fired up and burn brightly, beloveds!

Want more? Join the conversation on Facebook Live tomorrow at 12 pm PT, 3 pm ET.

Download a free chapter of Awaken Your Inner Fire 


NEW! INNER FIRE BOOTCAMP STARTS NEXT WEEK, SEPTEMBER 5TH! 

Join my brand new 7-Day Inner Fire Bootcamp for FREE when you pre-order Awaken Your Inner Fire; each session begins the third Tuesday of the month.  
Get inspired with my Daily Sparks, tiny morning emails straight to your inbox.

Be supported by our new Inner Fire Tribe Facebook group   

High five to you and your inner fire,

HeatherAsh

P.S. Share the goodness: share this blog to your blessed friends.

Working in the dark

by: Leahanne Smith

When you come to those dark places in your life, don’t try to avoid them.  Walk into them with curiosity.  Even with a heavy heart of discomfort, continue your work.  You will upload things that have been there far in the background of your making.  You will see more about yourself and more about life.  You will sense farther and learn more parts of the universal language that lives within all of life.

After going through the dark we will know why the hawk cries in the sky just at the time you feel something come over you.  You will feel the meaning in the tone of the howling dogs.  You will pay attention to the feeling instead of disregard it.  You will be in the flow of the natural current of intuition, of natural information; of silent knowledge.

There are many days I’ve walked through my work with a heavy heart.  Maybe I start out the day feeling sorry for myself that I have to go to my job as a caretaker for the elderly when I feel the need to sleep or write, or hike.

After hours of cleaning, doing laundry, listening to my client, bathing them, repairing household equipment, in victim mentally, I finally become neutral.  I am neither happy nor sad, but I am alert to all sorts of things I would not normally pay attention to.  Things such as the spider webs under my elderly client’s bed catch my attention more than usual.

On my happy days when my vision is higher, I more easily bypass certain places in the darker corners of life.  But, on my lower vibrational days, depression days, I more easily see into the dark corners.  It is there that I find all I need.

I have trained myself to see with love from my brighter days, into my darker days, from gratitude.  I’ve been lucky enough to have attended spiritual growth gatherings and read the greatest self improvement books.  I’ve taken advantage of my freedom as much as possible for a lot of my life. I’ve made it my mission to find more personal happiness.  I love trips alone to the mountains or attending a juicy webinar where women talk openly about sexual pleasure, or the beauty of accepting death.  These are some of the things that make my heart dance with sparks of connection to the great living light that runs through us all.

I love my life on most days and have paid attention to myself enough to know how to love my life even on the darkest days.  I have had some pretty tough breaks, and made it through to see my way in the dark.  And, I am continuing to learn.

I have grown less afraid of failure because I have tried and failed so many times that I’ve realized it doesn’t kill me.

I spent five years trying to become a nurse counting from the prerequisites to my second year in nursing school.  I did not make it to becoming a nurse.  I am still a nursing assistant.  I clean, and do all the things for my elder clients that most people in society consider to be a lowly job.  I am not the lifesaving nurse keeping up with all the demands of a busy hallway in the hospital.  Instead I am walking slowly through dark hallways in my mind.  I am the master here.  I care for what I see that needs caring for.  I stay within my integrity.  I do my best.  I realize that this defeat has just gotten me more experience.

Trying and falling has gotten me into corners where I feel stuck.  But, in actuality I am seeing from a place in the bottom of life where it is quiet.  There are no disruptions from me seeing where everything comes from, the components of all of life.

I’ve made friends with the spiders, creatures that get killed by people rushing around in life.  I often see that the main stream world does not allow for time to listen to the old nature to the real life in the stillness.  And, it is in the stillness that we feel into our basis.  Without this we do not really know ourselves, or where we are going in truth anyway.

So, instead of being embarrassed that my job is not a glorious one in comparison to other’s, taking care of the elderly has taught me so much.  I am not afraid of dying and surrendering as I was when I began this elder care journey.  I have gotten comfortable in accepting things the way they are even when they are falling down, including myself.

I’ve realized in my basis that I can do all things because I am all things.  I am all of life.  It is all within me.  Witnessing so much more of the sweetness and the depth of life than I did before working in darkness, I appreciate all things.  I feel the miracle that is every living thing.  The cobwebs that were cluttering my inner vision have cleared away because I’ve made friends with the web makers.  Instead of racing to get to the light, I stay where I am.  I am happy to be with myself whether if I am finding my way in the dark or celebrating a major turning point.  Life is so much simpler now.  I just am.

I do not have to be anything.  I am perfect just the way I am.  I go for things that my heart beams at in life because I love life.  Life is my art now that I’ve worked in the dark.  Now I see.

One of the tangible ways that I have worked in the dark is by doing my best even when no one is looking.  I got here by using my heart because I had nothing else, no where else to go in life.  I was in the dark, so just as I became friends with the spiders, I became friends with the life force within all people.  I may see that I want to help a person and the feeling comes from that deeply integrated place within me, that dark neutral space.  I will just know that I need to help someone with something like finish a project for someone who really needs it done and either can’t do it for themselves, or would have a hard time getting it done.  An example of this is taking my elderly client to see her friend when otherwise she would not get there and no one else would know how much they need to see each other or would take time or care to understand.  Or, by placing a worm in the grass when I see it will burn in the road.  I will place the worm on the side of the road it was pointing toward so that it will have arrived at its destination.  Just things like these examples start us toward the direction of our truth in life in a more catapulted way.  When we are used to being within the current of life flowing through all, we will see, and feel all.

I believe that when we take effort to uplift one thing, another thing in our life lifts up as well.  We may not see it.  But, if we pay close attention, we will feel the life force that is running through another place within us, and from there much that is unseen is generating.  In this way we have opened the door in the dark cave that has not yet been remembered.  From here we gather more life within life.  Doors start to open letting light into those places that were forgotten.  It is revived.  It has life again.  We have life again there, which is a new extension, a new corridor to the new Self.

May we all take time to work in the dark.?

I Showed up

By Noel Nguyen 
AKA LotusOmGoddess
www.naturalhomeonline.com
FB/LotusOmGoddess

Today, there is a deeper message wanting to be shared with each of you as I type these words on my computer.

Each and every person and soul matter. Each of you are here for a reason. Here is not only in this Tribe page, but also here right now reading this. We are here now for each other for a reason. Each of you may have your own reason, journey, support, voice, and needs. All of it is meant for each of us in a different way; that could change daily as well. 

We are a thread of individuality that shares a collective consciousness and one moment one of us may have the exact words, experiences, or inspiration that may touch someone’s heart, mind, body, or soul and they may need that exact message at that time. That is known as synchronicity. However, there are no accidents and all the synchronicities are available to each of us daily. When we look for the signs, symbols, listen deep within with all of our 6 senses we can see the guides are everywhere helping us on our journey. None of us are ever alone. 

Each of us may be at a different place on our journey and that is ok. You are doing great as you are! No one needs to change you, judge you, or suggest that you be any other way than you are right now. Each of us may not be the same person we were yesterday either and that is ok as well. Each day we have an opportunity to face new challenges as a new person. We are here to support each other in all the ways each of us choose to live our lives; and I honor each of your choices. We honor each other, support, and love one another each and every day. We do not need to compete, judge, gossip, or expect others to be the way we are; we love unconditionally – without expectations and without conditions; open-hearted love! I love you and all that you do daily for yourself and others; you know who you are and what you have offered this world and I bow to you with such love and gratitude. 

Let’s celebrate it all! Celebrate our successes and our not-expected outcomes. Even in the left or right choice on the path that presents itself called life we are still at choice. We have the ability to choose and that is a beautiful place to be. View our options, take some risks, jump into the unknown, and sometimes we will be pleasantly surprised that the paths may still lead to the same place; the surprises or unexpected; sometimes can be just as rewarding if not more valuable in the lessons we receive. You are courageous, brave, and amazing and I honor you each day for all you do. 

For almost a year I attended an amazing program by HeatherAsh Amara called Ignite. It taught so many beautiful tools, techniques, ceremonies, and ways to try different paths in my life that I may not have known or chosen before I walked the path with her in her 9 month program. Each day even when my world around me was shattering to tiny pieces of seedlings that were meant to grow into something unexpected “I Showed Up.” 

I would be an emotional mess, crying, couldn’t speak, but I could say “I showed up.” Each time, HeatherAsh would say “It’s ok sweetie, keep showing up, you are doing great.” Sometimes in life we just have to show up. Even when the lessons may seem like they are not meant for us at this time; a seedling is planted and when we least expect it; we nurture the seedling and it grows. 

Life has unexpected lessons, obstacles, and experiences that we may mindfully prefer not to experience; let me assure you that I have experienced more than my share of those obstacles and I have learned to spread my petals and shine. Sure, some days it may pour rain that is clear as mud and other days it may shine rainbows with treasures everywhere we look. It is how we choose to perceive each of those opportunities that makes a difference. I choose to show up. How can you show up today? Are you open to receive? What gifts do you have to offer or give today? I invite you to try not to analyze every step and decision and sometimes try to do the opposite of your normal behavior; you may surprise yourself on this journey called life. May the unexpected pleasantly surprise you with glorious gifts in this amazing journey called life.

Much love and light to each of you! 

Digging In


By: Leahanne Woods Smith

Through awareness I’ve come to see where my weaknesses are, and where I am strong.  Each of us are so different, and so valuable!

I’ve seen where I could benefit from strengthening up in certain areas such as having a talk with someone about a truth that I am afraid to expose, or dedicating time and energy into a new project or a change that I need to make.

Challenging myself in group exercise classes in front of a mirror, and around others, has really upped my threshold for challenging myself.  It has pinned me into spots to accept myself where I am.

The exercises can be super challenging in Hot Pilates.  There is usually instruction on several intensity levels of the same exercise shown by the instructor in higher intensity types of classes.  I always try the highest level of intensity first, the fullest expression.  But many times, I have to switch to the modified version part of the way through the exercise.  But, I dig past where I would have quit before.  I do the very best that I can do.

One of the four agreements in don Miguel Ruiz’s “The Four Agreements”, is ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST.  This is a monumentally important agreement!

Our spirit wants us to gain traction, dig in, and grow.  We can only really help others when we help ourselves first.

I believe, a big way to help ourselves is to reach beyond what we think we can do.   It is necessary to seek farther than the view we have been given.

The views we have been seeing ourselves through are often very limited.  Unknowingly, we have perceptions of ourselves of being only one way because of what we have been trained to think through the normalcies of life.

Life in the same culture, same people, same expectations, day after day, year after year, can cause us to believe that we can only achieve certain things, and that it is illogical to think that we could achieve other things.  These thoughts are lies.

We can push through the lies our brain tells us, by practicing pushing beyond our perceived limits.

Many times we don’t even see that we’ve limited ourselves.  And, what we practice sticks.  If we practice staying aware and going beyond, we will do that.  If we practice being complacent, and comfortable, we will do that until we feel the call of the wild beckoning us again.

Long, long ago we all heard the call of the wild with no filters, and we acted in our true nature.

Since society began, social norms have increasingly presented objects for us to push past in order to get back to our wild nature.  But, it is absolutely doable to get back to true selves within this lifetime.  We do this by practicing pushing beyond the limitations, in some way, everyday.  I call this digging in.

A great way that I have found to practice digging in and pushing past perceived limitations is by doing my best even when no one is looking.

An example of this is being a truly helpful volunteer at my son’s school.

My son goes to a charter school, and it is required that the parent/s complete twenty hours of volunteer work for each school year.  The volunteer work keeps us engaged with the school, and our children.  And, it helps the hard working staff, builds morale, and relationships.

I usually choose to work in the cafeteria.  I help the maintenance staff to help keep the floors and tables clean by cleaning between each wave of classes, ensuring that each arriving class has a clean place to sit.  And, I help open condiment packs, milk cartons, and whatever else the kids need.

There are times when the maintenance staff have to go attend to some other need in the school such as unlock a classroom, or clean up after a sick child.

I keep cleaning.  All the stuck pieces of dropped foodstuffs I see, I mop.  And, sometimes I have to scrape.  I know that it’s something that the busy maintenance staff has to do.  I want to be a real help with my volunteer time, not a halfway helper.

I know from working as a healthcare worker that when someone helps me, it boosts my energy.  I feel that someone cares, and that what I do is seen as valuable.  I’ve experienced this boost with just a little help.  The routine nitty gritty jobs get done faster, and with more pride.  Since I know this, my eyes are open, and I see where I can be of real assistance instead of standing by doing minimal work to get my volunteer hours done.  I do my best to help them.

I’ve realized that when I do my best in one place, it carries over into another place.  I am confident that by staying aware and doing my best in smaller places, such as scrapping smooched gummies off the cafeteria floor when no one is looking, I will be more aware and will do my best in the bigger places in life.  This is because I have opened up more parts of myself.  I did this by digging in.  And, I will continue to open myself up more by digging in on a regular basis.

From a dug in deep position with ourselves, we are able to face huge challenges and know that we will do our best.  From a deeper dug in position, I have been able to look at someone and state my truth, even when my voice shakes.  I have been able to stay with myself and see farther plains of existence of what I really want instead of compromising my view.  I have come to believe that way more is possible for me than I perceived earlier in life.  I have expanded through digging in.  I am a needed component of life.  So are you.  We are all so valuable!  We are all so worth the effort it takes to dig in.

Of course, there are times when doing our best means to rest.  Our biggest challenges in self-acceptance may be when we need to sit out.  An example of this is when we need to cancel plans in order to get that needed rest.  Or, when we are not chosen for a position we’ve worked towards for years.  That’s when the challenge is in learning to love ourselves where we are on a more concentrated, deeper level.  And then, we just pick right up and keep going again.  But, this time we are coming at it from a deeper level.  As HeatherAsh says in Warrior Goddess Training, “Love the limitations”.

We practice digging in here by practicing stillness.  When we meditate, or when we simply sit with ourselves in the mirror or in nature, we are filling ourselves with more capacity to accept ourselves in the stillness; in the pure and simple existence of our spirit.  See more about the necessity of stillness in Warrior Goddess Way.

May we live our lives with fullest expression by digging in and doing our best!

FINDING YOUR INNER COURTESAN

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​By Dina Tibbs 
http://www.dinatibbs.com/blog/2017/2/14/finding-your-inner-courtesan

​I have been enamored with courtesans since the late nineties when I first watched the movies Dangerous Beauty and Kama Sutra. One of my favorite books is The Book of Courtesans by Susan Griffin which is an account of the most famous courtesans in history, and I have been recently reminded of how powerful the energy of the courtesan is, which Regena Thomashauer also discusses in her book Pussy: A Reclamation.  

When I think about who I might have been in a past life, I pray that if I lived anytime between the 15th and 19th centuries that is was as a courtesan. Those times were not so kind to women; there were three choices in life: get married to someone your parents arranged and prayed he was kind and you existed to produce sons. You often did not know how to read or write and had no say in the life you would lead. You may have been royalty and you may have been a peasant; in either case you had no money. If for some reason you could not be married off, your other two choices were nun or courtesan. The convent was often not a kind place either.  

Courtesans, on the other hand, were independent, educated, and financially free. They had the hearts and ears of royalty, artists, and were respected in society. They were the muses, and often were artists, performers, and fierce businesswomen. But above all, they took self-care, pleasure, sensuality, and both inner and outer beauty very seriously. They were intoxicating to everyone around them; both men and women. Courtesans were exotic, intriguing, classy, beautiful in an unconventional way, brilliant, and most of all outrageous. They never apologized for being their true selves. I think we could all use some of this in our lives. 

“Outrageousness is a side effect of a woman being in tune with here sensuality.” Regena Thomashauer (Mama Gena)

Are you outrageous? Are you in tune with your sensuality?  

Here are some ways to get in tune with your sensuality and your inner courtesan: 

  • Wear lingerie even when there is no one to see it 
  • Color your hair an outrageous color 
  • Take a dance class, wear outrageous shoes 
  • Learn a foreign language  
  • Take baths filled with roses and rose oil or other flowers 
  • Buy a dress you can’t afford and take your significant other on a date 
  • Have a boudoir photo-shoot done 

​Please share what you do to feel more alive, outrageous, and sensual, and make a commitment to start doing some of these things once a week.  


When Childhood Wounds Come Out to Play

By: Sarina Harz
 
Oh the joys of being triggered! I had the excellent opportunity to clean some really old wounds this past season as my oil came rising to the surface. Typically, as this happens, I begin to celebrate and say Yes! A worthy obstacle you are! However, this recent experience was not quite that. It started with a Facebook post about the new release of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, something not too controversial in and of itself. I was curious at first about the original poster’s viewpoint and shared my own. . .and then it digressed. Soon, I had shared my online experience offline with a few close friends and my partner. They had all said pretty much the same thing (stay far away and don’t touch the post any further—it’s not worth it) and I had decided to sleep on it and see where I was in the morning. I woke up in the morning and felt my skin still crawling and this insatiable need to speak my truth. I quickly drafted a response that took years of my self-righteousness and tied it up into a little bow to start public shaming this other woman about her response to me.
 
I felt the heat in my body. My cheeks getting flushed with rage and also the feeling of relief because I had spoken my truth and it felt good. Only it didn’t, not really. I soon received a sweet but firm message from one of my closest confidants and she invited to see what reaction I was having. I took a deep breath, thanked her for calling me in, and immediately deleted the post, hoping that no one had seen it. I also simultaneously wanted to scream at my friend “BUT IT”S NOT FAIR!” To which point, I know she would have invited me to look back at the Warrior Goddess Training teachings, which I know so intimately already.
 
The truth is, I got caught in a whirlwind of agreements showing up. I went back and began to track myself. In the Toltec tradition, we call it stalking. I thought back in particular to how my kitten, Daryl, likes to catch wasps and bees. He will stalk them for hours on our balcony and when the time is right—he strikes! If he misses, he just begins the process over again. So that’s what I set out to do. I went back to the original posting and what showed up when I read the comments. I felt into my body around where there may be old wounds showing up. I closed my eyes and I opened. I visualized stalking myself as a witness to the situation.
 
I did this over a period of a few days. I took maybe an hour a day and simply went through it over and over again with new eyes, witnessing what was showing up. Then on day three it hit me like a ton of bricks while I was rereading the Introduction to Warrior Goddess Training. I came across this quote, ” I’m a woman, like you, learning, growing, laughing, and crying. I make mistakes. I step on people’s toes. I get caught in fear and self-doubt. I still take things personally. Sometimes I feel invincible, sometimes I feel fragile and vulnerable. I honor and cherish all these parts of myself–even the ones I don’t like so much.” Then I started half laughing and crying. So, I asked myself, what is it sweetie? What’s showing up. And it was my inner teenager. You know, the one that feels like the world is against her and she’ll never be understood as she just wants to show up in her goth clothes and purple hair with her book and art supplies. She’s the one who wrote that response out of hurt. She reminded me, that sometimes she wants to show others the light in the world, to open them up to the beauty that can be there–very similar to Belle actually (in the Beauty and the Beast story).
 
You see, so often, I’ve been crushed for it. Told that I’m too childish, not serious enough–that I need to grow up. Those are some deep wounds. My mother has those wounds too. She just turned 70 and I still see her struggling to dim her inner wild child fire, to hold it back so she isn’t further scrutinized. It’s another layer of assimilation for her as an immigrant, a woman, and converted Buddhist. But she rights me letters. She tells me that she’s proud I’ve learned to let my light shine. She still buys me children’s holiday cards because they are covered in glitter and it makes both of us happy.
 
So, that’s where my inner teenager also reminded me of how I used to dance around the house with books and recently I’ve been reconnecting with my singing through chanting, daily movement through dance, and re-reading my favorite fairy tales and myths.
It wasn’t that I wanted to be mean to someone else, it was that I didn’t want to feel like I was being pushed down, crammed into my inauthentic box again. The one where I don’t dance or sing or read what I want to read for fear that I’m not warrior enough or that I’m too girly.
 
The truth is, I like sparkly dresses and extravagant meals. I also like my Thai fishing pants and oversized shawls. What I’ve been rewiring over the last year is allowing myself to show up in the tutu and the leather boots. The bow in my hair and the hiking boots. The blending of my merdragon, pixie, unicorn, peacock warrior goddess essence. And sometimes, I feel like someone is going to come rip it away from me, so I get defensive, fearful, and vulnerable.
That is the moment when my venom comes out. It’s an area of cleaning I needed and I am so appreciative that my friend had the courage to call me in instead of calling me out (public shaming) or simply allowing it to go unchecked. That is true friendship—leaning into the discomfort and calling our friends in when they may have stumbled on their path. Not to blame, but to bring into the light. This action actually encouraged me to look beyond “I’m just standing up to a bully and I need to speak my truth” or “I’m just taking this too personally” and instead, I looked at the why–the how come.
 
As my oil flowed to the surface, I practiced compassion. I allowed myself to show up as I am. To express the hurt. To hold her (my inner angst teenager) as I let her know we aren’t going back into the box. To continue to sing and dance and play with art and reinforce this is the new normal. This is safe. This is OK.This is the warrior goddess way. In this one situation, I both abandoned myself momentarily and was able to hold myself and bring myself back home. This path is not always sparkles and rainbows, but I like to believe that as I clean up my oil and shed the old agreements that keep me trapped on the inside, I am blossoming and growing each day into a more full version of myself that is shining and spreading glitter wherever I go. I know it doesn’t erase the darkness, but for me, it makes it a little more fun when I’m sitting in it. My prayer for each of you reading this is that you stalk yourself with compassion, grace, and little bit of sparkle along this path of the warrior goddess. It’s a much more loving experience that way.
 
With bright blessings,
Sarina 

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